«Mothers-in-law not bad does not happen», – such outlook exists among married ladies. Whether really it so? Or it simply myth which has acquired as a snowball the exaggerated facts? I think that it is necessary to understand and place with it all points over «i».
At first and inherently the mother-in-law is the mother, that wonderful lady who once brought into the world your remarkable and hotly loved the wife. In an extent of many years it gave it a part of, put in it all the love. After all directly thanks to it your spouse directly such what you fell in love with it. Directly she taught him to tenderness, kindness and care of women. And if not it, there would be no now with you this man.
How to understand this mother-in-law?
But if everything is so excellent, why ladies so often do not find common language with their second mothers? Why mothers-in-law so often carp at them, blame and show the discontent? The answer is simple, it is usual female jealousy.
Try to present itself on a place of mothers-in-law. Here you give birth, late raise, care and cherish your sonny. He grows, graduates from school, later the institute, gets late good job. Later it gets acquainted with the lady. And not simply meets it, he loves it, in his life there is one more lady who replaces to it all: friends, relatives, and the most important – mother! This another’s silly girl becomes its half, its sample. Directly this lady it does by the wife and brings to you in the house. Also that in such situation you touches? And you are touched with that it did not think to ask your council! It started to do everything itself. He grew, and you did not behold it. It simply presented you with a fait accompli, and all. And here mothers-in-law should accept everything everything as is. To accept in the house of the extraneous person who has taken away love of your descendant. Such feelings seize mothers of the matured children irrespective of who is she is a mother-in-law or the mother-in-law.
Politically correct work wife
But what to do to daughters-in-law? After all they excellent, they are not guilty that the love exists that this comprehensive feeling is inherent in everyone (or actually to everyone). They love own the wife, respect his family, try to achieve love and from the mother-in-law. But how to be, if the female jealousy at the mother-in-law is so strong, what that cannot master it? Here not to manage any more and without all of the loved descendant and the wife on one face. He should conduct politically correct work and with the wife, and with the mother to help both of them to make affairs and to live in peace and a consent. His wife is young, only starts to learn to conduct an economy, and often remarks of the mother-in-law as more skilled hostess, perceives close to heart. The spouse in such situation simply should protect and support always the spouse even if he sees that his wife is not right, and his mother is right. It should support a self-confidence because the lady can be never happy with the man if it does not give it feeling of confidence and rest in the spouse. It should talk alone to the mother and to explain that he grew that already adult, independent, and that it has it already the family. That he loves the spouse and even if it is not right, it never will give it in offense. Such conversation is necessary not only for it and for his spouse, well and for the mother-in-law.
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After all the mother-in-law still very long time will consider it the child, and in everything will try to show that it is better than his spouse. That it is more tasty prepares that it is better обстирывает, and more motes, than his wife blow off from it. It as a certain competition which during a certain moment should terminate. And it will end. And on change to it rest will come to her soul. But before the moment to a young family it is still far.
And what to do to the daughter-in-law?
Very much practically all depends and from the daughter-in-law who quite often happens is unfair to the mother-in-law. She should not forget that mother her wife is, first, the skilled and wisest person. The daughter-in-law should not show very zealously the pride, it will be inexcusable dullness. It should find a common language with the mother-in-law, to test to fall in love with it as the mother, to be attentive and obedient, to test to become it the daughter whom at the mother-in-law never was (and can be, it there was her sacred dream – to give rise to the daughter, instead of the descendant).
The daughter-in-law should show worldly wisdom. It should hold in the head that than more age difference between it and the mother-in-law, the conflict of generations is more brightly visible to those. Now life another, other values. It will be heavy to mother-in-law to understand that it is necessary for daughter-in-law to visit a gym and a sunbed. After all at her age anything such was not.
The daughter-in-law never should expostulate the mother-in-law on own parents. After all that it not only will not grasp trust as it seems to it, and will make even more awfully, will sow fears in the head of «the second mother», as about it will speak as. Never it is impossible to expostulate on own the wife of the mother-in-law. After all even if she understands that her descendant not an ideal to show it outside and will recognize it publicly for it equivalent to recognize itself as unaccomplished mother. After all not for nothing there is a saying "Like father like son". It is not necessary to devote the mother-in-law in the past. And if to the daughter-in-law nevertheless to have to slightly open заавесь own let and not dark past, it is necessary to try to do it on a minimum for not each mother will want to compare own descendant to even someone, and God forbid not to the best.
So, having summed up to all aforesaid, it is possible to draw a conclusion that the mother-in-law is first mother. Mother who happens, is blinded by impetuous love to own descendant. Therefore to find a key to her heart it is possible only a love path. Are knocked, and doors will reveal before you!