Often you notice that, appearing in a big supermarket and involuntarily passing department for kids, you willy-nilly, start to consider games, dolls, and main their dresses. What at their hairdress? What dresses? Whether they approach to this doll? But at all this you remain the adult person.
The most interesting that this look of "adult kid" appears and when we meet on the street the little girl under a hand with mother, the father or even the grandmother – the grandfather. What hairdress at it? Fervent tails or something like the Afro-? As it is dressed: in completely blue suit, or nevertheless … the pink? So left that mother of the girl to be very quivering, it imposes many expectations: how to dress, how to teach itself to submit, how to play, how to speak with unfamiliar uncles and aunts. At all this there is still an amusing proverb: «The daughter is the last doll». Only be touched on the child sinking in ruches and bows, it is a proverb it not seems to us such trivial any more and lovely.
Very often from girls wait for deliberate "feminnost", in other words, full compliance to style of «the real woman», such Merlin Monro in a miniature. Guests, coming to the house of the small princess, wait from it for something "girlish": a coquetry, love to sweets, existence of the room filled by dolls and dresses. At all this for some reason girls who love panties and designers are perceived by people as "artificial" girls.
And what such to be real? Also it is necessary to indulge so to a widespread stereotype, what the girl should be a doll?! On this question there is an unlimited number of answers, but all of them mean that:
1. There is no "maskulinnost" ("courage") and "feminnost" ("feminity") in spotless types. It we, in the culture, got used to speak: it is to the boy, he will play tell-tales, and it is to a girl, she will play in a doll. But in different cultures and during various time there were also different samples. So, for example, in Average Africa there are tribes where men are engaged in a household, and ladies fish and hunt. This education is helped by their legends that Earth was made by ladies. But as the lady could not sit with the child, made to itself the man. And this picture of the world does not change already some thousands years therefore of those lands are firmly convinced: the lady gives life, she is force, and the man does not give anything, therefore is necessary later what to be at home! How to you such history?
«But allow, – tell you, – but we not from their "dough"!» Also will be right, at least that from time immemorial fighters harrowed lands, and we, ladies, were at home. Only … as fairy tales? In them after all always there was Vasilisa Premudraya, the clever wife or even Vasilisa Mikulishna that «the plaits» Stavra pulled out, own beloved, from captivity of the prince Kiev, having changed clothes for this purpose as the man. Whether can say lies all fairy tales?! I think, no because fairy tales in many respects occur from bylinas which once happened on this earth. Remember the Amazons living just on coast of the Dark sea, and everything will understand.
2. More printsipny, that in all samples of our ancestors, as well as in the modern world, there is no ready recipe that such to be "man" or "woman" at all complaints on «man’s and ladies’ qualities». In other words, the main thing is not to enclose to the baby a concept essence «to be the woman» as ready model. It is not necessary to force to carry it dresses if the child that does not wish. It is not necessary to straighten out the girl in game, repeating: «Girls of so do not conduct!». Most likely, the girl will apprehend it actually and will simply stop to play in the designer, "sea battle" and other games which are so important for development of logic in the baby!
Even more awfully if the girl sits for a long time on a small bench, being afraid to spoil «the most beautiful dress». What does it mean? And that in consciousness of the girl "materialism" was already postponed: the lady should dress up, it should look best of all, she should not run and can, even to have fun. In other words the lady is a dress, and after already all another! Perebarshchivaniye? But how to separate in consciousness kids «a beautiful dress» and to "play": «games it is excellent, but to run in a wonderful dress it it is bad»?
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The child will more quickly take on trust: everything that can soil a dress – very badly. To avoid such education to mother and the father, also to their family, it is necessary to work! Over what? Not to put in the head of the girl it "is impossible" «girls of so do not conduct» and «you are a girl!», and to change it on «to the child all is possible absolutely»! On that it and the child!!! The gun longs? – Let shoots. Machine? – Let rolls. Also do not hurry to drip validol, being frightened of thoughts on "girl boy". During a certain moment, but to it will precisely bother to be «as the boy». There will be it years in eleven-twelve when there will be 1st gossips, «the real girlfriends», «the first beauties in a class» and other, as makes life of the little man at this age.
The main thing in it will be that your child will be never disappointed that was born the girl, it will have no complaints that something it was impossible for it or it cannot do something. So, it will have an absolute self-confidence, the internal force and, maybe, that you will bring up the new champion in any sport! After all, judging by biographies of sportswomen, directly so they were brought up by forefathers – did not put a side of boundaries «it it is possible only for boys» and «only to girls». Also look, that they achieved that big internal confidence that enclosed in them there is no time forefathers! After all sides between "boys" and "girls" really are very conditionally!
3. The most important, it that to mother and the father and as to their parents, it is necessary to act as the harmonious front! On the last measure, at least to both parents, in showing, really to show, instead of to impose: what is "man" and "woman". Mother should become a sample of «the real woman» and, maybe, and not absolutely to Merlin Monro, but somewhere very much and very close.
So, if you wish that the girl would love dresses – carry them! Do not demand from the kid of compliance if you do not do it! Wish to get it a new dress? Take the girl on purchase of a new dress to you. And it that hour зажгется "new" and for itself! Speak, behave so that ALL AND ALWAYS spoke to you «the real woman»! Unless it not the best compliment to you? And for your girl it besides the best lesson! She will precisely know that "is possible" or it "is impossible", because she saw it the eyes, remembered it in you, and not just heard: «so it is impossible» or «it is bad for the girl».
Become those whom you wish to see in the daughter! It you will kill, on the last measure, a meeting of 2 hares: the 1st – will cease to hammer the head infinite complexes which were installed in you in the childhood and why you so dream to help the daughter at present; and the 2nd – will cease to worry because "follows" or "does not follow" and will start to trust in compliments, so, will believe in itself, so – and in it, all heart!