To find a common language even with the own child from time to time happens very hard – after all not always you know, how it is correct to react to his unpredictable behavior, sudden whims and disobedience. And, despite boundless love to own child and the most good intentions, one blurt or insignificant offense it is capable to offend the kid and in a root to change his behavior and psychological development. That guide the communication with children to the correct course, familiarize with widespread mistakes in children’s education which allow the most part of parents.
"I know, you can better"
Instead of a praise expected by the child, he hears the related phrase: "You are such idler! Could make it much better". The child yet does not know force of own abilities, but shows diligence and diligence to amuse first own parents. Your task consists in helping the child most to find level of own abilities and knowledge, to develop talents and self-organizing. Ordinary reproaches change softer words: "When in your room it is pure, to become a lot of place for games and entertainments", or concerning study: "It was necessary to you to spend 15 minutes over the book on grammar as in your dictation already there are less than mistakes".
READ ALSO – the Method of education of children according to Julia Vysotskoy
"You do not need to eat the 2nd fruitcake"
Without hesitation, thus you care about health of own child, but similar words are perceived by it absolutely on another. Pointing to its slowness and awkwardness from the excessive use of sweets, you develop superfluous complexes and uncertainty in at the kid. Home buy only healthy food, desserts and sweet drinks prepare without the aid of others and in moderate quantity. Place emphasis not on the size of portions, and on physical activity of the kid. Write down it on sports sections what he will choose, whenever possible, arrange joint walks on великах, roller skates.
"You as usual …" or "You never …"
"You as usual forgot frequent expressions, about what I asked you" or "You never will make it, properly" beat off at the kid any desire to test to be corrected, after all you for it defined in advance result. So, instead of categorical expressions try to offer it the help in how satisfied your request better and that it is necessary to make not to forget printsipny tasks.
"Why you cannot be such, how yours the sister/brother?"
Remember that by no means it is impossible to compare own kid to others and to put someone as an example, let even relatives. On you depends, as perfectly your child will cope with all tasks, but the main thing – to allow to do it it in own way. From raneshny age develop in the child feeling of feature and uniqueness, promote its first steps to good results on own footpath, instead of the road of big brothers and sisters.
"You again postponed everything for the last moment"
All day the child played computer games, later until late at night did homework. Finally – a bad dream, slackness and slackness at lessons, a bad note. Let know to the child that at all you are not happy with his fruits, how many he is not happy how passed it day and what progress at it. Next time, when it again becomes before a choice between entertainment and a task, will remember, how intolerably longed to sleep all day as слушивал remarks of teachers, it first will make the work, later with easy soul will begin to pass the latest computer game.
"Best of all you are given mathematics"
So you block desire of the kid to show the abilities in other things. Praise the child for good results in defined science/sports and encourage its tests to achieve similar success in all undertakings.
"Do not worry: your 1st day will pass in school remarkably"
The kid right there has a feeling of excitement that after all something can happen, and after all to your words he even did not think of it! Going the 1st time to the 1st class, try to assure own young school student that it is waited by very interesting day with new acquaintances and friends schoolmates.
"Because I so said!"
Such severe answer forefathers try to get out of questions of the kid and to teach it to obey seniors. Therefore when you ask the kid not to go to play with neighbour’s children, and to stay at home, to help you, do not hurry to speak in mandative tone to it: "I so said!" Tell to the child about what he is the irreplaceable and suitable assistant in household chores and as perfectly it will arrive if will agree to help mother better.
"Be not on friendly terms with this boy. It badly influences you"
Probably, everyone had to hear it in the childhood. Parents do not like a family of your new friend or his progress at school. First ask own kid why from all children he became friends directly with this boy as they play and as spend a free time. If you are firmly convinced that the new friend badly influences it, convince own kid that, for example, with the boy from a ground floor it is even more cheerful and more interesting to it. Perhaps the child and not to a meeting will take into consideration your councils, but over time itself will be convinced of it.
"You do incorrectly. Look, how it is done by me"
Having asked the kid to help with house cleaning, will see that the young assistant, naturally, does not cope with a task as is excellent, as you. Do not hurry to criticize his diligence, help it to do correctly the work, having told, for example: "Give I will show you how to make it simpler and quicker".